Momma’s Angel

Listening June 22, 2008

Have you heard the idea of being silent before God? Spending time in prayer, not asking for things but listening to what the Lord may say to you. I find this difficult to do, not just not speaking but keeping my mind quiet. I heard an idea lately for meditation, choosing one word and focusing on it while being silent. Then you allow whatever happens to happen. Thoughts flow through your mind, memories, sadness, tiredness. I don’t think you are supposed to fall asleep. Is this one way to let God speak to me?

These days I am trying to fill our days with regular fun, interesting outtings, and restorative quiet time all while playing a waiting game of sorts. We have a time line for finding our own home, by this November/December. It’s been a long time coming. We’re pretty cramped in my parent’s home and we need room to grow and live as our own family unit. I’m ready for the adventure, whatever it is. Accepting a new place be it far or near, being willing to find a church, medical care givers, and a place to dance. And that is what I have been praying about, being ready for whatever opportunities come our ways.

My Sleep Breakthrough May 17, 2008

I was raised on, and have subscribed to the Attachment Parenting philosophy. Probably the easiest way to describe it is learning and responding to Baby’s/Child’s cues. For me, life has been easiest when Sara Ellen slept with, or near me, breastfed when she requested, and was worn (or held). I also agree with the La Leche League mantra that breastfeeding works best when it’s beneficial to both mother and baby. This also applies to the previous parenting actions.

Obviously, things have changed some as Sara Ellen has grown. She is now my nursing toddler, so she eats lots of other foods but still loves “mommy milk” a few times during the day. She loves to run around on her own, though she still rides in Ergo Baby Carrier from time to time. She also still has a place in our bed though she has her own “little bed”. The latter is what has changed for the so-much-better this week.

As I said, she still loves breastfeeding. But it is beneficial for me to refuse at times and steer her onto other food or another activity (funny how nursing is both). Infants are wired to nurse at times during the night, that’s just how they are made. However, Sara Ellen carried that habit into toddlerhood. I’m the type of parent who enables her child to grow at their own pace, move into new stages without force. HOWEVER, I don’t sleep as soundly as I did when she was an infant and she no longer just nurses and falls asleep, she likes to go back and forth. The latching on wakes me up, and if it keeps happening… I don’t wake up rested. I become quick to annoy and prone to use the loud scolding voice Sara Ellen does not like. Instead of bright-eyes and bushy tailed, it’s more like bushy-eyed.

This past Wednesday, we had a night like that and had a horrible morning. Absolutely horrible. I know that it is possible for her to fall asleep without nursing so I decided that night I would make a change. Into that choice, I included trying to get her back into her own bed. I tried it several months ago with a fit of crying on her part and that’s what happened. I don’t like “crying it out” but at least I was with her. I hoped she would fall asleep. After a while there was a knock at the door and my mother reported she could not sleep so I grudgingly brought Sara Ellen in to bed. I was still determined not to nurse her to sleep because that encourages the nursing through the night. Instead I told her stories and such. She was worn out already and went to sleep. I think I may have nursed her once during the night but just once and she went back to sleep. We woke up in the morning, both bright-eyed!!! She had her morning milk, which I’m not opposed to, and our day went well. I repeated the no-nursing bedtime Thursday, but without the forcing her stay in her bed. She didn’t want stories so I sang Veggie Tales songs. At some point she rolled over and went to sleep! I think I actually stayed up and read, and woke sometime around 4 and couldn’t fall back to sleep but that was my head and the weather’s fault. Another good morning. And a third!!!

I have heard stories of parents deciding to get their baby to sleep alone in their crib and how they feel so refreshed after a good night’s sleep. While I won’t force that on any future children, I am so glad to have found a bedtime routine that works for us now!!! I’m sure when Tim comes home tomorrow and experiences these results, he’ll be relieved as well.

Sara Ellen, the Amazing Growing Girl May 5, 2008

At 11 months old, Sara Ellen’s head doesn’t quite reach the top of the tv cabinet. Her fingers are just in range, I imagine the button guard went up soon. I saw this photo randomly on our gallery and wanted to compare it to one recently taken.

At about 29 months old, Sara Ellen is tall enough to reach almost anything in our house! Look how long those legs have grown!

Articles About Being a Good Mother from the Searses April 30, 2008

In my most recent Parenting Newsletter from AskDrSears.com there are three great links appropriate for celebrating Mother’s Day and the incredible job of mothering and allowing children to grow into their best self. Here are two links on enabling Mother to be her best self and text from Dr. Bill and Martha’s new book, 25 Things Every New Mother Should Know.

In response to a national campaign instructing parents never to keep an infant in their bed, the doctors continues to educate parents on safe co-sleeping practices.

For mothers to be at their best personally and as a parent we need to avoid burnout that can come with giving so much.

25 Things Every Mother Should Know
Written by Martha and Bill Sears

A few paragraphs from the chapter “The Perfect Mother?”

It’s not that you should never clean; some order is necessary for your sanity. Just keep the ideal of the perfect house in its place. You may need to encourage your husband to lower his standards, take on a bigger share of the work, or both. You should both remember that all the gorgeous homes you see in magazines and all the perfectly kept yards you drive past on the way to the grocery store probably don’t belong to people who are trying to juggle housekeeping and caring for a new baby. Try to take the long perspective. Someday your children will grow up and move out and you can have a perfect house – if you still want one. No one on her deathbed ever wished she had spent more time cleaning, and no one on her deathbed ever regretted spending too much time with her children.

If your perfectionist tendencies are surfacing now that you’ve become a mother, relax and ease up on yourself. Chances are, you’re doing the best that you can do, given the circumstances of the moment and the resources available to you. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you’re not good enough. If you are enjoying your baby and feeling that you really know and understand her, you’ve definitely got the hang of motherhood. Savor each moment of your baby’s life for what it is, instead of thinking of something more that could be done. If you stay tuned in to your baby most of the time, you’ll be the mother that your baby needs – a far better thing to aspire to than some distorted vision of perfection.

Scripture and Notes on a Sermon April 28, 2008

The scripture and sermon yesterday, Ephesians 4:22-32 “Words That Bring A Blessing”, struck a cord in me. Usually my words are pretty clean, but occassionally when I’m really annoyed (sadly it’s always small) I’ll swear to myself, I hate it. Normally I have good expectations for Sara Ellen’s behavior but there are times I’m not up to the task and use my angry voice. She doesn’t like it and says “not the voice!” It always makes me think of Jesus and how he is perfectly patient with us and I realize how amazing he is.

The scripture:
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of your must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are stilly angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slanfer, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each, other just as Christ forgave you.

I am not having the best day this Monday, nothing special to do and no inspiring plan to carry out. This kind of day makes me prone to anger and ungentleness. I am sarcastic at times and I realize it’s not humor, but untruths that make the receiver feel defensive, embarrased, and perhaps a little malicious. I tend to use sarcasm when I am surprised they ask what sounds like a dumb question because they are uninformed or make an obvious request/statement. This scripture requires we “put away ALL falsehood”. That’s a pretty tall order and like not swearing, requires more thought and gentleness. If I’m asked a question that would elicit a sarcastic answer, I have to stop, breath and think of an appropriate answer. This process is the same when I’m angry so I do not speak what will hurt and tear apart someone I love.

The pastor began his sermon with Matthew 12:36-37. “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be aquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” He said he would be a fool to judge someone in such a way but that these are not his own words, but Christ’s and not to say them would be foolish. I can only thank God that I am forgiven of all my sinful words and actions. Even on a gloomy, unhappy day, I can know this joy.

Husbands and Babies April 22, 2008

I was looking at photos on Facebook and a friend asked “when did all the [R-MWC] alums get married and start having babies?”. It’s weird being at that age and I thought I’d compile a little list. Feel free to help me correct or add.

Liz Sundby c/o 2000 married Kevin Hass in 1999. They have Sydney and Savannah.
Sarah-Anne Laster c/o 2004 married Stan Kielczewski in 2004. Baby Sebastian was born Jan 2008.
Kristen Ollock c/o 2001 married Brian Tyler in 2004.
Tracy Earley c/o 2004 married Jay Proffitt in 2004. Adilee Jo was born Apr/2008.
Rebekah Myers c/o 2002 married Joseph Baljet in 2004. They have Katherine 08/05 and Gabriella 01/07.
Devon Kennedy c/o 2004 married Rich Connaroe in 2004. They have Lucas, born 2/07 and Meredith Brooke born 4/08.
Myself c/o 2003 married Tim Altman in 2004. We have Sara Ellen, born 12/05.
Dalia Ortega c/o 2003 (my first roommate - transfered out) married Artie Catalano in 2004. Alessandra Veronica was born 1/13/08.
Sara Caswell c/o 2004 married Nathan Draughn in 2006.
Katie Smith c/o 2005 married Pete Flynn.
Allison Sterrett c/o 2003 married Joe Krause.
Ana DeLeon c/o 2003 (transferred out in 2000) married.
Alanna Valdez c/o 2003 married Armon Taylor Jan 2, 2008!

Money and Family Size April 11, 2008

I read an article last weekend in USA Weekend considering how times have changed when it comes to the financial status of large families. It really resonated with me because I would love to have another child but it would be a bit irresponsible now. We are pretty cramped in a bedroom in my parent’s house. It would not be fair to anyone to bring another person into the house. We’re paying rent, though less than average for the area to help out while we live there and need to be on steadier ground to afford a place of our own - house or apartment.

In the article it talked about how in the past, lower income families were known for having many children because they could bring in extra income (before compulsory childhood education) or perhaps because there was no [access to] contraceptives. Now it seems families who struggle financially are making wiser choices to scale down on family size in order to have more resources available for each person’s needs. The financially wealthy however, have plenty of resources and feel free to increase their family size and share what is hopefully the joyful luxury they live in.

While I was trying to find the link for the USA Weekend article, I came upon something similar in the Times Online, an online UK and world news source. Their article admonished the poor in the UK to consider doing what the previous article claimed is being done in the USA, consider what you have to provide to your offspring before you bring children into the world.

It is wise advice and it is something we are doing. Both Tim and I grew up in comfortable households and I imagine expected, or at least hoped to have that ourselves. We’re young, and slow starting out but whatever kind of life we lead, I know it will be full of joy. I believe that whatever the reason is that I cannot see, God has a plan for us. It has always been my dream to have a family, of at least two children, and I believe it will happen at the right time for us. For now I will be thankful for the generosity and love our families, and will pass it on to our beautiful daughter.

Nursing under Cherry Blossoms April 4, 2008

Sunday afternoon we took advantage of a very nice day in Washington D.C. to see the Cherry Blossom Trees in bloom with Tim’s mother. She was up for the weekend so we found some cool things going on around here, including a Family Fun Day at the Maryland Department of Agriculture on Saturday.

On Sunday the air was a little cold and the sky was overcast but it was really a perfect day to walk around with throngs of other tourists from near and far. We had lunch at the Holocaust Museum Cafe. It serves vegetarian dishes, plus tuna sandwiches and salmon. They do not serve meat because the cafe is not under rabbinic supervision so the meat could not be classified kosher. It was only a short walk away to the circle of blossoming trees around the Tidal Basin. There were buds not yet blossomed but I could hardly tell. It was a beautiful sea of pale pink above and multi-colored tourists below. Many folks were paddle-boating on the water in front of the Jefferson Memorial. Tim used his snazzy new camera to get great shots. I requested only one among all the candids he got, me nursing Sara Ellen at the base of a Cherry Blossom Tree. She’d had a drink on the metro (where we “debate” the no food or drink rule) on the way in and it was time for a quiet drink with Mommy. As I sat down I though aloud to my mother-in-law, “talk about nursing in public.” I have breastfed Sara Ellen pretty much whenever she requested since she was born whether in public or not. Nowadays she can wait or take a substitute whether at home or out. She likes to “drink mommy” so we take our “quiet time” to help her adjust and connect, or just to snuggle. At home sometimes she nurses to sleep for naptime or quiettime. When we’re out sometimes we find a truly quiet place like the family room in our mall. On Sunday we sat at the base of a blooming cherry blossom tree and had a moment. We had a great seat directly across from the Jefferson Memorial, I could clearly see the silouette of the statue. When Sara Ellen was finished she climbed up and galloped away.

I believe that she will happily stop nursing when she is ready. I feel the same way about toilet habits and many other stages, she will make her way when she is ready and confident. I love to watch her try new things, she grows more capable and adventurous all the time. Though I can’t say I’m thrilled when she can unlock the door and run outside or put dvd’s and tapes into the players… you want your child to grow into an independent being, but it gets a little nutty.

Summer Movies 2008 March 24, 2008

I love movies. I love good action movies, chick flicks, historically-based, superheros, animated movies (Pixar is the best). Obviously they have to be well thought out, have an engaging story, not be action for actions sake, or very gory. I have standards, yes I do. There are several movies I am really looking forward to this summer. What follows is a linked list and even photos.

• Made of Honor Release Date: May 2 2008 This will be like a reverse of My Best Friend’s Wedding, although the previews show him being more helpful than sneaky. I really like Patrick Dempsey in Enchanted and Sweet Home Alabama.
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian Release date: Friday, May 16th, 2008. In older film adaptations of these stories, the Lucy character really bugged me. In the Adamson adaptation, Lucy is adventurous, and kind, with the child’s willingness to believe, which sets her apart from her siblings. As for the story, how strange it must be to grow up in Narnia, return home where no time has past, then return to Narnia which has seen 1,000 years since their departure.
• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Release Date: Thursday, May 22nd, 2008. I LOVE Harrison Ford/Indiana Jones and Shia LaBeouf is great too (he was good in Transformers, but Holes is my favorite).
• Get Smart Release Date: Friday, June 20th, 2008. Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway!
• WALL·E Release Date: Friday, June 27th, 2008. You have to see the preview, I love saying the name. “Waaaal-ie.”
• Hancock Release Date: July 2 2008. Will Smith is awesome and the previews are so funny.
• The Dark Knight Release Date: Friday, July 18th, 2008. I really enjoyed most of Heath Ledgers movies. Sadly I think this will be a creepy last one.
• The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 Release Date: August 8 2008. Yay Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Alexis Bladel!!!

Sara Ellen’s Wonderful Words March 23, 2008

Beuful - beautiful

“No I’m beuful” (No, I’m not beautiful. Everyone has days where they don’t feel beautiful.)

Peedoo - Computer.

Mesnages - Messages

“Check the mesnages on the peedoo.”